I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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