Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I will be naked everywhere
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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