Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
