i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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