Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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