There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
