I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
