Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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