just come out here and I will go home with you...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
