Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
