What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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