I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
