thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just invented taco cereal.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
