She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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