my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize