If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
