worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I smell like Dick and happiness
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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