So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
