so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I fill condoms, not promises.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize