You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's just like the Real World with babies
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
