# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
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Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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