I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
