so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Even my vagina gasped.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize