return my video game
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
