Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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