whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
