Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
