Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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