Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize