That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just had sex bonerless
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
