I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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