Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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