Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
