i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
