why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
