ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize