someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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