How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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