Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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