Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
