Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
