he shaved USA in his pubs
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
