What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
