You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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