Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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