The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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