i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
