just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Randomize
