Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
