Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize