i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
