I must be too annoying 4 u.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
