How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
