covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
