similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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