i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
