She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize