u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
