Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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